The other day in my journ tutorial, some girl jokingly says "I think all poets have an identity crisis". She did not know I am a poet, so we all just laughed it off. But I have been wondering ever since, what the hell is an 'identity crisis'? Honestly I have come to the conclusion that it is psychologist induced.
It is apparently necessary to go through an identity crisis at some point in your life, which in my life is (seemingly) ever since I was 12. I have read quite a few self-help books in my little life, books by all sorts of christian writers, psychologists, christian psychologist writers and the likes. And they all talk about getting to a place of 'self-realisation', I advice you look it up. The problem I have with this approach is that it creates the assumption that we are one dimensional beings, and finding out that you are a tomb boy will mean that you will never wear a dress (for instance). However in my young life I have realised that firstly, we cannot be made in the image of a multi-dimensional God, and be one dimensional. There are different sides to us, people are different, so we relate differently to different people, and to different experiences. I am not just one thing, I am a beautifully complex person. And me being a tomb boy, which to a certain degree, I am, does not create a box for me and put me on the tomb boy isle. I learn, and as I learn, I grow, and as I grow, I change. But now, because today I did not react to the situation the same way I did yesterday, it does not mean I have an identity crisis. It just means that I am yet discovering other things about myself.
I used to think that I knew myself, and that I was simple. Word of advice, do not ever think you completely know yourself because when you find out you do not, it is not the easiest thing to deal with. So, I thought I was pretty introverted and non-emotional, then I started to realise that when I am with certain people I talk so much I make them seem like the 'introverted' ones. So it gets confusing now to tell people I am an introvert, because it is a total lie to some of my friends (who have experienced the open, talkative, loud, crazy Mo that I sometimes am). That is when I came to the conclusion:
"I cannot say I am this, or I am that", the relationships I make define me, I am inaccurate in trying to define myself. Noone's eyes see the full picture. Of course it is good to have an idea of yourself, in terms of strengths and weaknesses you have seen in yourself. But an "Im like this, Im not like this" complex will create bondage for you, and you will end up not enjoying many great things this life has to offer because you have boxed yourself into a category [of people who do or do not do certain things].
We also sometimes have to consider that the people we are is subject to the upbringing we live through, many strong people have proclaimed themselves weak because they did not have the opportunty to see their strength because of a hectic childhood.
I am not saying there is no such thing as an identity crisis, I am simply saying, admiting that you have your entire life to figure yourself out is not a crisis, as a matter of fact it is a great state of self-kowledge.
